I’m back!
Triumphantly, I’ve returned!!
I’ve recently been challenged with the opportunity to see just how far I can take my dedication to my profession. The past couple months were a trial in persistance, faith, and relentless self-affirmation. I met long hours as sunless mornings and late nights. I saw what it is like to become completely absorbed in a project work schedule. There were weeks when I saw my fiance only when she was either sleeping or driving me to the train station. I missed engagements with friends and family. This was a challenge for my own endurance, and also for our resiliency together. I personally felt the costs of such a schedule, and can now say without question how far I am willing to go and under which circumstances. Part of the cost to me from the process was time with these people. After paying those costs, I’ve realized how much I enjoy that time. I appreciate time with friends and family on an even deeper level now.
I learned the meaning of expectations and deadlines. I felt great about meeting deadlines, and felt the excrutiating anxiety of missing them. I put all of my energy into my work, even through the weekends, and there was still more to do. These were challenges that I had not previously met. I feel excellent about the effort I put forth, and that’s a feeling that I could not have from any lesser collection of demands.
The work that I do is very different from the work of any of the men from previous generations in my family, and yet we can still talk to each other about our seperate experiences as similiar tests of “what you’re made of”. I put forth the best effort I can because I hope to be able to hold myself up to their example of work ethic.
This experience was challenging, but something I see as a positive chapter in my life. It was a time when I was able to say that no matter how tired I feel, no matter what kind of pressure I’m feeling, I’m just going to keep going on because I believe that by going on, we’ll make it. We did make it. We got to the other side, and my team was able to contribute to the good of the whole through our individual self sacrifices. Knowing this is the best reward I could have for the effort I put forward.